


How Did We Get Here?

by Jaedyxe



Category: Runaways
Genre: Angst, Depictions of anxiety/depression, F/F, Magic, Romance, Soulmates, Trigger warnings will be in notes at top of chapters, just a smidge
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:48:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23273464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaedyxe/pseuds/Jaedyxe
Summary: Nothing has been simple in Nico’s life in a long time. She is always afraid of hurting the woman she loves, her light in the darkness. Nico needs to discover simplicity and harmony in order to be the person she wants to be for Karolina. This is how she gets there.
Relationships: Karolina Dean/Nico Minoru
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	How Did We Get Here?

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Character illness, some blood, and descriptions of suicide
> 
> So last week I opened myself up for requests. The Deanoru fandom has hit a speed bump, and I want to do my best to help. This work evolved more than I thought it would, it started out as a small req from Dana @fabraynico for future pining Nico with angsts tropes ahoy...weeelllll it evolved a bit past that. What is here now i just some of the build for what I’m working on. I’d meant to have just maybe a small fic, but it will probably be longer. I did also twist a few things to fit my purposes.
> 
> This is unbeta’d so if anyone would like to fulfill that let me know! Feedback and kudos, like tips on doordash, are appreciated but not required...all hate will be ignored or mocked in further notes though. 
> 
> Also if a chapter has trigger warnings, please check notes of the chapter!

Someone once said that there is beauty in simplicity...the problem is that no one really knows who did. Leonardo da Vinci based beauty on a series of mathematical equations and expressed that through his art. Lao Tzu taught that simplicity, patience, and compassion are the three greatest treasures in life. There have been countless numbers of people that believe they have the answer to how people can live life. The problem, is life is not simple-it’s complex. It cannot be broken down into one small statement for everyone.

Over the years I have discovered that for my life, Bruce Lee put it best, “Out of chaos, find simplicity. From discord, find harmony.” But why happens when you and the love of your life, your soulmate, have different versions of what is simple? Or especially how to achieve it. Well...to find that out we have to review chaos.

* * *

Nico let a staggering breath out as she stared into the water. It rippled gently with the wind, the moon reflecting off its surface. The young witch was trying to find peace in its tranquility...unfortunately, there was no peace to be found. It had been a couple of weeks since the final showdown with Morgan Le Fey. Throughout it, so many things had been discovered but the still didn’t make sense.

The small things were easy and Nico worked to review them in her head in an effort to stay in the present. She had discovered an entirely new level to the staff and to her mother, leading her to an entirely different skill set she could use. Tina had begun teaching her some of the basics but iterated that she was not a master. Tina didn’t have much but time on her hands though and did the best she could. With the death of her husband and the downfall of her company due to Morgan, she had lost nearly everything...it made her cherish her time with Nico even more.

Chase and his father had also discovered that brain cancer was back. Victor had decided to stop fighting the inevitable, something that Chase was trying to come to grips with. Victor was doing the best he could to prepare his son for leading Stein Enterprises. Lucking he would have his mother to help him.

Gert and Molly were able to convince their parents to let them stay at the hostel...after a few improvements of course. They were leading the renovations while Gert did the best she could to be there for Chase. Molly was just excited that things would settle down and she could begin looking forward to going back to school...but without her older ‘siblings.’

Geoffrey was mostly focusing on trying to get Catherine moved to a lower level penitentiary or halfway house. She was finally out of the coma from the attack. Alex still wasn’t quite sure what to make of everything and was just focusing on passing the GED along with the others...none of them could see themselves going back to Atlas after everything. They had been through too much.

And Karolina...she was just trying to be there for everyone. Well, and be as uninvolved with her mother in the church sense as she possibly could. If she wasn’t studying for her GED, honing her powers, playing fetch with Old Lace, being bros with Chase, or trying to keep encouraging Nico...well, that’s the problem isn’t it? It’s the REASON why Nico was outside of the home she grew up in staring into a pool at 3AM. Karolina had literally not focused on anything for herself. Nico wasn’t sure she wanted to be responsible for that.

Nico scuffed the toes of her boots together as she pulled Karolina’s jean jacket tighter around her, trying to take in the smell that normally brings her so much comfort. She didn’t end her staring contest with the water as she heard the sliding door open or when her mother came to sit next to her. Her mother, while still dangerously beautiful, had seemingly aged more in the last 3 years than the last ten.

“I never wanted this life for you Nico,” her daughter looked away at what was sure going to be a lecture, “There are many things I still have to tell you. I’ve taught you some basics in the hope that it would control them.” The them Tina referred to were the voices that began from the first time she took the staff and had practically turned into a stadium of people since the fight with Morgan.

“I’ve told you before that my mother never gave me anything...that is because she never had anything to give. She raised me while acting as a priestess of the Atsuta Shrine in Nagoya. The Minoru line was once quite prominent, but it stumbled over the years. The staff...has been in our family before.” Tina paused as she took a breath, “My grandmother Tokiko, handed the staff over to a group called the Masters of the Mystic Arts, and became a priestess of the Atsuta shrine. My mother did the same and expected the same of me. She made me serve as a Miko, wanting me to give up what I wanted to do. That is why I said she never gave me anything, she wanted me to give my life to the shrine.” The sorceress paused and reached into the kimono she wore over her night clothes. From it was a slightly worn Polaroid of what was clearly a younger and more carefree Tina and Robert.

“The early 80s and 90s provided a large boom in technology, and your father is the one who introduced me to it. We wanted to help the world and my mother wanted me to never see it. Robert and I both wanted to get away from our traditional families, so we applied to MIT and were accepted. But when my mother found out, she was furious. She sent me to what she said was a friend of her mothers that she remembered as a child...but it was so much more and I didn’t appreciate it at the time. All I knew is that there was no way that Robert would wait for me.

Where she ended up sending me was to what she believed was a Buddhist monastery in Nepal, to some ‘Ancient One.’ Even though our shrine was Shinto, she believed this would discipline me... and it did but not in the ways that she expected.” Tina paused her story and began to weave her hands in a similar way as Nico had seen her do a couple of times. With a small burst of purple light, a small purple orchid was laying in the palm of her mothers hand. She reached out slightly shaking fingers and felt the soft petals. As Nico pulled her hand away Tina gently set it to float in the water. We come from a line of magic,”

“But your-!” Nico began to immediately question her about her protests when Nico began to be interested in Wicca, however Tina continued sharply, “Let me finish Nico, you will have your answers! We have a natural talent for what is called Erdrich magic, which is what the Ancient One taught me. But I was a stubborn student. I fought her at nearly every avenue, but I resigned myself to learn as much as I could. That is what I just demonstrated for you. When using the right spells and gestures it allows us to pull on the dimensions around us and manipulate them. They also keep magic relics, these were the keepers of the staff. I didn’t know this beforehand until I finally saw it first hand after two years of training.

“When the staff first called to me, it told me of our heritage. It had been with the Minoru line for centuries. But it pulls on the magic of the dark dimension to work, using blood as a sacrifice to open the portal and siphon the energy. That is why Morgan wanted it, but it had bonded so tightly to you. The side effects though...I have not been strong enough to fight it Nico, and you were correct...it did make me the monster I became. It chose me and that is why the Ancient One ejected me. I at least convinced her to allow me to leave through our New York sanctum and was finally able to join your father. I have made many mistakes though Nico. I thought that by keeping all of this from you and Amy that I would spare you the fate that you’re currently following...but it’s the opposite.”

Tina moved to take Nicos right hand with her left and twisted toward her daughter as she moved to stare into her eyes, eyes that were the same shade as hers, “I failed you Nico. I failed to prepare you because when I modified the staff to read only my DNA, thinking that would keep it from falling into different hands...I never imagined any of this would happen Nico. But I’m going to do everything in my power to protect you.”

The matriarch moved to take her daughter in her arms and Nico went without protest, taking warmth from her mothers presence. Something that she hadn’t done since she could remember.

Without knowing terms began to gently fall from Nicos eyes, her voice catching, “I don’t know if I can do this mom...the voices are so loud that I can’t sleep. I know Karolina is worried, but I have hurt and disappointed her so much. The staff wants me to use it’s power, but I am so scared...”

Tina took a deep breath as she stroked her daughters hair, “Nico...after everything with Morgan, I reached out to a man named Wong. He apprenticed alongside me and has continued to move up, he is now in charge of another sanctum. He has spoken to their leader, the Sorceror Supreme, and he has agreed to take you on...but it’s not going to be easy. Given the circumstances he has agreed for you to go to Nepal, but he has stipulations.”

A spark of hope began to grow in Nico and she pulled back to look at her mother, “Mom, I will do anything! I am so terrified of myself and what I could do to others...I just want to control this thing.”

“It requires you agreeing to at least 2 years of training...and no contact or distractions with the outside world.” Tina’s voice began to catch as she finished the sentence. She had fought Wong vehemently, not wanting to lose contact with her only remaining family member. The Sorcerer Supreme was insistent though. Given the variables presented of the growing connection between Nico and the staff, her natural talent for magic, and the circumstances of her powers growing...they needed to break down what she had already learned and work from the beginning. Any falters would have disastrous results.

Nico could barely understand what was coming from her mothers mouth. As she began to process them she ripped her hand from her mothers grasp and before she could react she was on her feet and doing what her and her friends did best...she ran.

Tina watched her daughter as she sped away, knowing that unfortunately for Nico she was more like Tina than she would wish on her daughter.

* * *

The sun began to rise over the mountains as the Nico ran to the top of the mountain. She had wandered for hours, battling the voices of the staff that called for her to use its power and draw from the dark dimension. There was a tingling under her skin, feeling almost like static electricity running through her blood. She slowly removed her girlfriends jacket as she began to feel warm despite the chilly temperatures.

“ _Use it Nico.”_

_”All the power Nico.”_

_”You can’t protect them, you can’t protect her without it Nico.”_

” _USE IT!!”_

_”POWER!POWER!POW-“_

”STOP IT!!!” Nico roared as she pulled the staff from the holster on her back. She drew it in front of her, staring through the Staff of One as its center began to fill with a red energy. The tingling under her skin began to intensify until it nearly began to burn.

Nico’s thoughts raced. She wanted to draw her arm back and throw the staff as far away as she could, but she couldn’t. She thought back to what her mother had said about it’s history, her history. This staff had been haunting her entire line for so long. It had made her mother into a monster, making her think she was doing the right thing for her daughters. The worst thing though...it made her terrified and what she would do to Karolina down the road. 

Thoughts began to race as the red in the center of the staff became more opaque. Internally she knew that this was a battle of will that she was not sure she could fight. After two weeks of this she was tired. Tired of the pain that comes after a powerful spell, tired of the voices that were roaring through her head, and tired of hurting those she loved. As things became clear the voices became a whisper...

”Cut...” Nico whispered into the dawn.

Pain wrenched as slowly a cut began to run down her left forearm. Small beads of red ran down and the static began to fade.

”NICO!!!” A voice yelled as Nico jerked and twisted around.

Gert came running to Nico, picking up speed as she saw the red on Nicos arm. She nearly ran into her friend as she skidded to a stop. The cut was nearly three quarters down before Gert pulled off her flannel and began to apply pressure. She looked into her friends eye.

”What the hell are you doing Nico!”

”I just want the staff gone, and this is the only way I can think to do it.” Gert had never heard Nico sound so resigned, not even when Nico died.

The purple haired girl grit her teeth, “There is ALWAYS a choice Nico. Right now you are choosing the easy way. Just before my thirteenth birthday we had a fight when I said took your My Little Ponies into the forest because I said they should be free and you STILL knit me that purple scarf? You chose the hard thing then Nico and I need you to choose the hard thing again and knit your arm CLOSED!” By the end tears were running from both their eyes. 

Nico fought with her self until finally she commanded, “So mote it be!”

”NO!!” Gert yelled.

The was a flash and a force knocked the two apart. As her eyes cleared Gert scrambled to Nico. Her friend was unconscious and she cautiously grasped the blood soaked shirt. Gently pulling it away she was shocked to see that instead of an angry red line there was what seemed to be a tribal outline of the Staff of One. She quickly moved to check for a pulse and gave a relieved sigh as she felt it strong and steady. 

“It’ll be ok Nico,” Gert reassured. She quickly connected to Old Lace, asking her to pause her morning hunt to come find her. 

Gert looked around to see where the staff may have been blown to, but her attention was drawn again to the new mark on Nico’s arm. Before she could ponder further though, she heard the heavy footfalls of her emotional support dinosaur. 

“Hey girl,” Gert greeted as she rose to meet her. She gently ran her hand along Laces snout as she worked to get her emotions under control, “I need you to carry Nico home, but I need you to be gentle ok? She’s having a rough go at it.”

Old Lace gave a grumble of agreement as she crouched as low as she could so Gert could more easily help her packmate. After Nico was draped as carefully as possible over Old Laces back as if she was a horse the pair carefully made their way back home. 

Gert kept one arm on Nico’s back as they made the trip down. She had had been surprised when Tina had called Nico, but after considering how much time their parents had spent with each other (despite their dislike) she knows that after what they had believed was Amys suicide that the Yorkes had tried to speak to the Minorus at least a bit about Gert’s depression. It was something that she had battled with a long time and they more than likely would have either wanted to share advice about her therapy or see if Amy had shown any warning signs, just to stay on the lookout. When Tina spoke about how Nico had been behaving a lot of things began to make sense.

As she came closer to the Hostel entrance she was relieved to see Chase. He was pacing the entrance dressed in his pjs still. Normally he was used to Gert getting out of bed to let Old Lace hunt in the morning, but when it took much longer than normal he had became worried. He caught sight of the three on his circuit and quickly jogged to them.

”What happened?!” Chase went to slowly pick up Nico.

”To be honest I don’t have a fucking clue,” Gert replied, letting the exhaustion come through, “But we need to get her upstairs and call Tina, this is way outside of my wheel house.”

The pair made their way into the hostel, trying to be as quiet as possible. Gert gestured to Old Lace to continue the hunt but the intelligent dinosaur ignored her and followed just far enough in to lie down and guard the entrance. 

Gert and Chase slowly made their way up the stairs and brought Nico into one of the rooms that adjourned her and Karolina’s, not wanting to just surprise Karolina with an unconscious girlfriend. 

“Can you stay with her while I wake up Karolina?” Gert asked Chase as he gently laid her on the bed. The young engineer gave a nod of agreement as he slowly sat down next to her. His mind raced as he saw Nico look somewhat similar to how hid dad did when he had been laying on the ground after being shot. His eyes caught Karolinas jacket and a bit of blood on the sleeve. His mind raced with what his friend could be going through. Even though they weren’t the closest in the group, he still though of Nico as a little sister. 

Karolina suddenly burst through the door despite Gert trying to slow her down. She quickly kneeled beside her girlfriend on the bed and ran her hands over Nicos face. She wanted to make sure Nico was still here, still with her, still _ALIVE_ after what Gert had told her. She leaned over and lay her forehead against Nicos as she let out a shaky breath. Laying a reassuring kiss on her girlfriends warm lips Karolina looked back at Gert who was standing in the doorway, “What happened?”

Gert shook her head, “Tina called me and said that Nico was upset about something with the Staff and that she was worried about her, anxiety wise. She did some sort of locator spell thingy and was tracking Nico up a path through the mountain. I had Old Lace track her and when I found her asked Lace to stay back. I don’t know what was happening but suddenly there was bleeding, and I was trying to stop it, but then there was light and we both flew back and when I was able to get up the blood was gone and so was the staff and she was like this!” The front that she had been able to hold up until this moment finally collapsed. Gert cupped her hand over her face as she tried to hold in her tears and Chase raced to her, wrapping her in his arms.

Karolina clenched her eyes as she moved lace her fingers with Nicos, trying to maintain as much of a connection as possible. “Call Tina and tell her to get her ass over here.” 

Chase nodded as he moved himself and Gert towards the door, “I’m gonna set Gert up in our room, then I’ll keep Molly and Alex distracted. Let me know if you need anything.” He slowly pulled the door shut.

The blonde opened her eyes and took in the site of the love of her life. Her boots and bottoms of her pants were dirty and the jacket that Nico permanently borrowed from her was tied around her waist and had some blood on it. Karolina slowly withdrew and worked the boots off as gently as she could then unwrapped the jacket as well. Tossing all in a corner of the room she saw nothing out of the ordinary with her shirt but there was a new mark on her left arm.

Karolina kneeled back down and began to trace the lines of the staff that seemed to have been tattooed on her arm. It was raised and slightly warm to the touch. Her brow furrowed as she tried to figure out where it came from. Letting out a breath and shaking her head she turned now to Nicos face. 

It was free of makeup and so the bags were more pronounced under her eyes. Despite being only seventeen worry lines had already began to etch into her forehead. None of that mattered to Karolina though. Nico was still the most beautiful person she had ever seen, inside and out. Moving to lace their fingers again she adjusted until she was laying beside her, taking comfort as she saw their hand raise and lower with each breath Nico took.


End file.
